In theaters this Friday from director Roar Uthaug and Warner Bros. Pictures is the beginning adventure of Lara Croft becoming the “Tomb Raider.”

Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) is a young woman trying to find her place by making it on her own. She really doesn’t need to since her father Lord Richard Croft (Dominic West), who has been missing for seven years, left his daughter an inheritance. When family friend Ana Miller (Kristin Scott Thomas) bails Lara out of a problem, she is told it is time to sign the papers legally declaring her father dead.

Agreeing to finally do so, family lawyer Mr. Yaffe (Derek Jacobi) is presented with a puzzle and in it is something that sets Lara off on a quest for answers. Finding clues to the last place her father went, she discovers a diary and maps along with a cryptex with a story about a Japanese Queen and a power that has the capability of world destruction.

Lara makes her way to the Far East in search of a man named Lu Ren, instead she finds the son, also Lu Ren (Daniel Wu) who is shocked to learn that they have something in common. Explaining that they both need answers about their fathers, Lu and Lara head off to a dangerous island that shows them no mercy.

So much so that the ship is grounded and Lara is washed ashore only to be taken by Mathias Vogel (Walton Coggins). He is thrilled at the new island arrival because she holds the answers he has spent seven years looking for. Lara has no plan on letting Vogel get away with what he is doing and manages to escape. In an adventure within an adventure, she is surprised to find someone else on the island she hasn’t expected to see.

Vogel finds the tomb and along with his well-weaponized mercenaries forces Lara to go in first and lead them to the final resting place of the Queen of Death. The horror that awaits them is nothing they are prepared for but that isn’t going to stop Lara from doing the right thing and save the world!

Vikander as Lara shows the beginnings of Lara Croft and how hard headed and yet still an adrenaline junkie she is. Wanting to avoid signing the papers declaring her father dead, she is told by Ana that if it doesn’t happen, Lara will lose everything that her father built. Vikander literally jumps into action and I can clearly see why she was chosen to be a younger Lara Croft.

Coggins as Vogel has made being a bad guy so deliciously easy. All balled up with anger at being forced to live in a dangerous place for seven years, he isn’t very forgiving. Looking for the one thing that can bring him home means nothing or no one, not even Lara Croft, is going to get in his way. Coggins is an actor who can play a good guy (or gal), a mediocre guy and a bad guy – all with such skill. Can you tell I’m a fan?

Wu as the younger Lu Ren is a boat owner who doesn’t want to get involved with Lara’s mystery. Talking him into it isn’t hard and after being thrown on the island with Lara, he jumps into the action when seeing how wrong everything around him is. Of course I am a serious fan of Wu and if you’ve seen the AMC series “Into the Badlands” where he plays Sunny, you’d be hooked on him too.

West as Lord Richard Croft raises his young daughter but leads a very secretive life. As Lara gets older she accepts her father’s ‘business’ trips with ease knowing that her father loves her. West takes the role of Richard and gives the audience a little more backstory and experience the father-daughter relationship.

Thomas as Ana has been keeping Croft Holdings up and running for Lara but knows its time for decisions to be made so she doesn’t lose what her father has left behind. I have to say I love seeing Thomas taken on a shady character.

Other cast includes: Alexandre Willaume, Tamer Burjaq, Adrian Collins, Keenan Arrison, Andrian Mazive, Milton Schorr and a cameo by Nick Frost.

OK, time to get real and announce this is where there may be a few spoilers because there is no way to talk about the film without letting things slip here and there. So if you don’t want to know — check out right here — still here? Then prepare for a rant.

I want to be taken away and go on an adventure when I’m watching a movie that is suppose to be, well, an adventure. Then a scene takes me completely out of it and I’m spending the rest of the time seeing nothing but what’s wrong. Let’s begin being hit by a car, I realize she is Lara Croft but, um, yea, a car usually puts people out of commission for a day at least.

Then there is a camera left behind seven years after Richard Croft’s disappearance. Lara finds it and — low and behold — it works. Really? REALLY? My cell phone can’t hold a charge for more than a day and this frikken camera is still working after seven years? Also, knowing a thing or two about keeping a house — is it me or shouldn’t there be more dust and cobwebs in an office that has been left untouched for seven years. I mean not a single cobweb?

Onward trying not to shake my head, the next jaw dropper — I could be wrong but when a tree stabs you in the side and you get sewn up, do you (less than 8 hours later) run top speed through the jungle like Katniss Everdeen hunting President Snow? It could be she is a descendant of Legolas from Lord of the Rings with the ability to run and shoot rapid arrows at close range. Maybe it’s Indian Jones figuring out the traps so that she can get her hands on the Grail? That can’t be possible since Dan Brown has taken care of that faux cup right? Professor Jones must feel sheepish.

I mean seriously we have had the Grail, Priory, Illuminati which, by the way, the original Lara Croft’s father was a part of. Since that’s been covered, it’s on to the new secret sect of crazies called the Trinity. My head is spinning.

Yes, I am completely over it which once again proves to my stubborn self that there is no reason to redo films that are perfectly okay as they are. The thought process should have been this; how about saving millions of dollars and have a Lara Croft: Tomb Raider marathon of the original films and pocket money without out really spending millions. Oh I know, I’m going to get garbage about how old the other film is or how a “new generation” needs a revamp of the story. I’m calling b.s. on that Hollywood.

And as far as the theme song does it really have to be ‘Survivor’? This song has been played into the dirt and this is the best you could come up with? What’s with calling the film “Tomb Raider” as if Lara Croft is an after thought. Did you think that leaving it off would mean people wouldn’t IMDB it to see that this is a remake, rethink, reimaging or anything else re?

So here is the deal — is the film heinous? No, it’s just annoying and I hate being annoyed. Is it a good cast? Yes, and in lies another dilemma for me. I don’t have issue with the cast at all, I am a Vikander, West and Wu fan and am completely in love with anything Walton Coggins does. I mean really, any guy who can pull off the ever so lovely Venus Van Damn with a heart of gold to sway Tig from “Sons of Anarchy” fame works for me completely. That’s where my thumbs up ends.

Come on studios! Are you going to rely on Steven Spielberg, Christopher Nolan, Alfonso Cuaron and Spike Jonze to do all the original film heavy lifting forever?

In the end – her legend begins.

Comments

comments

Recommend to friends
  • gplus
  • pinterest

About the Author

Jeri Jacquin

Jeri Jacquin covers film, television, DVD/Bluray releases, celebrity interviews, festivals and all things entertainment.