Opening in theatres from director Len Wiseman and Sony Pictures comes a retelling of TOTAL RECALL.

This film tells the story of Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), a hardworking man married to Lori (Kate Beckinsale) and living his life. But something seems to be missing as Quaid decides to go to REKALL, a place where you can live out your fantasy life without leaving a chair.

Well, that’s how its suppose to go but Quaid quickly discovers that his mind has been altered but by whom and why? When Lori turns on him he runs for his life and meets up with Melina (Jessica Beil) who knows him as Hauser.

It quickly becomes clear that there is one man who wants him dead or alive…preferably the former as Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) brings everything down on Quaid to keep him from telling all he knows.

FINAL WORD: I love Colin, truly I do but when the news that there was a remake of FRIGHT NIGHT and TOTAL RECALL I couldn’t contain my disappointment. I didn’t need to see either to know I was going to be crushed – and now I know I am two for two! It is not that Farrell doesn’t work hard and play with tons of toys here, it’s just that there was nothing to captivate me. It’s not possible when I still have Arnold in my ear saying “twwwowowowow weeeeeeks” as his face falls apart.

Beckinsale has made a name for herself kicking ass and in this film she proves her worth. She slides right into the role created by Sharon Stone even if a tad bit more of a bad-ass. Beil plays her role straight as Melina and again, I still see the original cast. Even Cranston’s Cohaagen didn’t do anything for me.

Sorry folks but that’s how I see it. There should be some kind of law that you can’t remake, retell, re think, reimagine or re anything for that matter on a film under 80 years old. I don’t want to see films that I love just as they are remade because Hollywood doesn’t want to pay for new creativity so they throw money hand over fist to anyone who says, “sure I can remake this and it will be awesome!.”

Other cast include: Bokeem Woodbine as Harry, Bill Nighy as Mathias, John Cho as McClane, and Will Yun Lee as Marek.

TUBS OF POPCORN: I give “Total Recall” two tubs of popcorn out of five. Yes there was obviously a huge amount spent of special effects that were cool, awesome, eye popping etc., but that’s it. I just couldn’t sit there and erase a film that I love in its original form. To make up for it I went home and pulled out my TOTAL RECALL from 1990, got me a bowl of ice cream to soothe my nerves and enjoyed the rest of my evening.

Hey Colin, yes, I loved you in ONDINE – stay away from the rest of this stuff. You are too good an actor to be sucked into doing this kind of stuff! There, I said it. If you’re looking for a positive side – it was nice to see the three breasted lady of the evening make an appearance!

In the end – what is real?

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Jeri Jacquin

Jeri Jacquin covers film, television, DVD/Bluray releases, celebrity interviews, festivals and all things entertainment.

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