Every morning you look into your closet, think about what YOU feel like wearing, and get dressed. And what you pick from your closet each day is probably based on how you’re feeling, where you plan to be, and the weather forecast. The chances are good that your marriage doesn’t usually play a factor in your daily wardrobe decision.

But for just one day this week, consider your spouse when you’re getting dressed.

What does your spouse like you to wear?
What’s your spouse’s favorite color to see you in?
How about wearing the sweater your spouse bought you?
Does your spouse like when you wear a particular shirt with a certain pair of pants?
Do you remember which undergarments you wore on your last romantic anniversary?
Does your spouse have a favorite dress or tie for you to wear?

Your assignment this week is to get dressed with your spouse in mind and, if your spouse will appreciate it, to let them know that you did so.

Seems like a little thing, doesn’t it? In some ways it IS little, but in other ways it’s HUGE. Let me explain.

Most people live with themselves at the center of their consciousness. Whether it’s deciding what to wear or where to sit, most people think about themselves. But the key to succeeding in a lasting marriage (as a team) is to shift the center of your consciousness from yourself to your marriage. That’s what it means to be CONSIDERATE…to ‘consider’ your spouse; not just consider them out of sensitivity to them (although that’s important too), but consider them ALWAYS. In a sense, that’s a measure of couple’s closeness…to what degree are you in each others thoughts?

This takes a real rewiring. After all, who’s accustomed to having a WE perspective? For 20-30 years of our life, it was all about ME.

Moving from ME to WE requires a rewiring… a completely new perspective. This takes time. You can’t do it in a single bound. In the words of Og Mandino, ‘All great feats are accomplished one small step at a time.’ So when you step into your clothes tomorrow, make it a small step for your marriage too.

Have a great week!

Mort Fertel
is an author and founder of Marriage Fitness.



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About the Author

Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
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