Let’s start with a riddle. Other than your spouse and your best friend, what NON-relative was by your side almost every moment during your wedding including the reception?
Do you remember that pesty person who followed you everywhere?
No, I said OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE.
The photographer! (and maybe the video person too)
Why do we spend so much money on a wedding album? Why do we allow a complete stranger to intrude upon such a personal celebration? The answer is simple. Because we don’t want the evening to end. We desperately want to take those few hours and preserve them forever.
There IS something magical about watching your wedding video or flipping through your wedding album. It transports you to another time and place. If you allow yourself, it can bring back your wedding night smile. You can feel like a newlywed again, if only for a few moments.
Your assignment this week is to watch your wedding video and/or flip through your wedding album. If your spouse is up for it, then do it together. Relive those special moments again. Remember together.
Can you remember what it felt like to feed each other that first bite of the wedding cake? Do you remember your first dance? Do you remember being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. —-? Do you remember the best man’s speech? Most importantly, can you remember the joy you felt?
Remembering that special night together can be special NOW.
You know, certain therapies prescribe smiling and laughing as a healing for depression. There is research that shows that smiling and laughing releases bio chemicals into your system that causes you to FEEL better. Of course, the benefit of feeling better is not just temporary; it causes more productive BEHAVIORS. And productive behaviors cause you to feel better.
Can you see how what you do is inextricable bound to how you feel, and visa versa?
But how do you start the cycle? How do you get the pattern to begin? That brings us back to that pesty person who followed you around on your wedding night. If he did a good job capturing the spirit of your love on your wedding night, then what he captured will not only transport you in time; it will transform your heart. It will bring a smile to your face and a tears to your eyes.
Go get your wedding album. Get your wedding video. Brush off the dust. Then plop down on the couch and spend a few minutes reminiscing. The memories will be old. But the feelings will be like new again.
Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.