If you sent me a gift, what would I do after I opened it? I would phone you to say “thank you,” right? Why? Why would I call to “thank you?”

You’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, you would call to say thank you in order to express your appreciation.”
But that’s not true.

Maybe I’m appreciative for the gift and maybe I’m not. You wouldn’t know based on the fact that I called to say “thank you.” All you would know based on the fact that I called to say “thank you” is that my mother raised me well and that I have good manners. After all, it would be rude to not thank you for the gift.

But just because I said “thank you” does NOT mean that I’m appreciative nor does it mean that you will feel appreciated.

What if I called you AGAIN a week later and said, “you know that blue shirt you sent me for my birthday? I’m wearing it now and it looks GREAT with the tie my wife bought me. Thank you. And by the way, how did you know that I was a medium?”

Now why did I call you that SECOND time? That’s right; it could only be because I’m THANKFUL.

The first “thank you” could be out of obligation; the SECOND “thank you” could only be APPRECIATION.

1. Think of something your spouse did LAST WEEK that you could express appreciation for AGAIN. And either verbally or in writing say “thank you.”

2. Make a list of things your spouse does this week that you expressed appreciation for and make a note to remind yourself to say “thank you” AGAIN next week.

I encourage you to make a mental note (or keep a list) of things your spouse does that deserves appreciation and come back to them occasionally. Remember them! And remember to say “thank you” AGAIN.

I call it “The Power of AGAIN.” I encourage you to get into the habit of doing it. It’ll do wonders for your marriage.



Recommend to friends
  • gplus
  • pinterest

About the Author

Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
  • gplus
  • pinterest